I’ve been working about 10 hours a week. I did put in a full 8 yesterday. I hear people talking about their dreams and goals for the future and I can’t afford the pain of having any.When I wrote about being overwhelmed in the bank two chapters ago I didn’t mention that I was having full blown for lack of a better word dementia like symptoms. I knew why we were there but didn’t understand what was going on. I was arguing about what papers go into what envelope and other silly behaviour. At one point my wife laid her head down on the desk. I was an overgrown 5 year old. I knew what was going on and I couldn’t stop it. It was that day my wife said I could use CBD no matter what the doctors say. I still had some and it helps keep that shit in check.Why didn’t I mention it when I wrote about it then? It’s humiliating. Every time it happens it brings me one step closer to the nursing home. Thinking about it scares me. If I don’t write about it I don’t have to think about it. At the same. I dont remember how I got inside their house, but when I came to I was shivering naked in a strange bed, between two naked strangers. Good lord! I said. You almost died?! Yeah, well Jon was interning at the time, and knew what to do to patch me up. I thought back to my days as a Scout, and the winter survival training I had learned. We had all scoffed at the idea of having to cuddle naked to save someone, until I pointed out that some of the girls in the Troop were worth a second look. I guess that sort of introduction doesnt leave a lot of room for barriers or shyness, does it? Well, Winn said, it did help that they turned out to be very, very hot. I bet. What, they were about 20 at the time? Twenty three. They were high school sweethearts, who split the summer before university. Their parents were all close friends, and were killed in a boating accident up North. They got together again soon after, and have been taking care of each other ever since. Thats a hell of a love story, I.
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